Remember when you made a pact in high school with your best friends that you would all be in each other’s wedding? Well that is one promise you don’t have to keep! Deciding who will be standing next to you on your big day is an important decision that requires a lot of thought. Technically you don’t even have to have anybody if you don’t want to. But for those of you that have been drafting your wedding party list on the back of your notebook since high school, now the time has come to ask the chosen ones if they will be by your side when you say “I do”.

Size Matters First of all you don’t have to have an even number of guys and girls when planning your wedding party. Nowadays you can have bridesmen and grooms women, almost anything goes as long as your venue doesn’t impose any restrictions. So, before you start asking the lucky potentials check with your ceremony location to make sure they don’t have any restrictions on the amount of people you can have or the age they have to be. While your two-year-old niece may make the most adorable flower girl, some churches require them to be at least 5. The Venue Have a particular location in mind? Check on availability. Popular places book up fast you may even sacrifice your perfect date for the perfect location, think Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway in “Bride Wars”. If you haven’t pin pointed that ideal spot, what do envision for your wedding? Are you getting married in a cathedral, bare foot on a beach in Hawaii, or in your own back yard? Whatever your heart’s desire make sure to discuss with your fiancé your preferred type of wedding and how it will reflect your unique personalities. Keep in mind how different times throughout the day at these various locations can set the ambiance to your wedding. Who makes the cut? Discuss with your fiancé the people you are considering asking to be in the wedding and make sure you both agree on each other’s choices. Plan for no shows. You never know what will happen. Pregnancies come with travel restrictions, that crazy future sister-in-law that you can’t even count on to be at her own birthday might make other plans, or perhaps something like the swine flu will scare your wedding party away from your gorgeous all-inclusive resort in Cancun, Mexico. Yes, I’ve witnessed all of the above and as long as you keep a positive attitude and plan ahead, unexpected absences won’t ruin your big day. More than just an honor Your wedding party has work to do! When selecting who will fill the coveted roles of Maid of Honor and Best Man remember that this person will be planning your bachelorette/bachelor parties along with carrying the duty of chief communicator between you and the rest of your wedding party. This does not mean that you now have a crew of laborers ready to jump when you call on them, but it does mean that they will have to help plan showers and parties and be there for you through this process. Be upfront with your crew and let them know what you will need from them as members of your wedding party. There’s more than one act in this circus You may not have enough room to make everyone a bridesmaid or a groomsman but that doesn’t mean they can’t be a part of the festivities. Besides your bridesmaids and groomsmen, there are personal attendants, ushers, readers, program passers, gift bearers, house parties, dancers (my friend’s mom did the hula and my other friend’s sister did a belly dance), so don’t worry about that friend you promised would be in your wedding someday there are plenty of roles to be filled. That adorable niece that might not be old enough to be a flower girl can be a mint girl. Then she can spend the rest of her years working her way up the ranks to the coveted role of Maid of Honor. Remember though it is your wedding and if you don’t want your mom doing her rendition of Etta James’s “At Last” you don’t have to!

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